Awaken Cycle 1, Day 15 - Soul Self Entry

Day 15 of the first awaken cycle brought up a lot of strong feelings for me - first of grief, and then as the practice continued, of a deep sense of comfort, rest, and settling.

The support of releasing stress and attachment to past traumas at first led my awareness to lingering "stuck" feelings: grief, pain, and contraction that my system was holding on to, left over from traumas in my life both big and small. As I focused on releasing these through the practice, sensations came up for me, as well as memories, but as I continued listening and working with my breath and the support of Kiera's voice and the statements of intention for the day, the sting started to leave these hurting places, and I began to feel more at ease and at peace.

Around the time that I was going through the midpoint of the first Awaken cycle, I also noticed my digestion starting to improve. I have tended to have intestinal problems and discomfort throughout my life, but at this point, those started getting a lot better.

A lot has changed for me as I've been going through this process of Energetic Development, but I chose day 15 to write about because it was really special to me, and quite profound. It brought me a lot of comfort and peace, and I hope it can bring the same to you.

Awaken Cycle 01 - Soul Self-Entry

 I share with you my experience of walking the labyrinth. This experience, as many are, was one of the moments of finding who I was and how to be with what comes up. Each path is unique as each day is a new experience, keeping me in rhythm, teaching me, as one path builds upon another.

Here is one of my experiences I share with you in Soul Self-Entry:

I sit in my practice, the voice file started, I listen, I’m feeling supported. This path is focusing on the heart as a sensing container and clearing past understanding of the heart - the heart as a pump. I’m finding it’s so ingrained in me. I feel the pressure; the illusion is pressing in on me.  I realize I have not given myself a chance to allow and experience those emotions I have held tightly. I’m feeling paralyzed by my emotions yet I continue the practice. Did I ever think it would be otherwise until now? I open up to the possibility and find I accepted being at my crossroad and there could be another way of understanding it.

I go back and remember being supported as I had in the beginning. I can be with it and still feel the parts of me, my nervousness, my thoughts running. I’m feeling my own resistance. My mind takes a stand - I want so much to move forward and transform. I realize I have not given myself a chance to feel those emotions I have held tightly. I’m feeling paralyzed yet I continue the practice. Then something within me shifts as I listen more intently to Kiera’s voice, and allow the words to wash over me. Now being with the practice I am able to relax in to it. My nervousness melts away as does the tension. I come towards the end of the practice, my thoughts have shifted and now I can allow myself to be with the awaken cycle path I’m in and allow it to teach me.

Since doing the awaken stages my journey of self-discovery, through my soul essence sphere and organized containers has brought me to an incredible place in my life, awakening me to see my paralyzed states that were a stopping point I made in my life. I had put up walls so I didn’t feel, not letting myself connect with my emotions, turning in to a repeating scenario that kept me from experiencing life. My frozen paralyzed states of meeting information over time have shifted. I’m able to experience and be with life, shifting and releasing what has constricted me and held me at bay. I’m finding joy in my changes as I stand and face what’s before me, following the flow in my life.

The meeting and the knowing of who I am and meant to be outweighs the challenges that lay before me. With each cycle walked the stronger I get and what it means to be embodied with organized energy in my containers here on earth between Earth and Sky.

I am grateful to have this opportunity to share my journey in Soul-Self Entry and I welcome and support you in yours.

Denise Bigelow

Awaken Cycle 1, Day 6

   In support of anyone that has chosen to walk also, I'd like to share my experience with you reflecting to you my souls journey of walking and the true life experiences and changes that have occurred due to energetically developing.

Today as I am in the support of the starform I move in charging in the quaderant of relationship to self in the body energy layer of the labrinth as I wait and charge to get as full of sense of myself as I can. Working with each finger as I charge I work with my pinky charging and accepting what the small little movements of the fascia and muscles are reflecting back to me and are teaching me about myself. As I walk I move I am now working with my ring finger charging to better understand what my  body was told about who I am- as I move and work through I sense the information and understand that I feel that I was nothing, sensing the intensity of the emotions I work to release anything that comes forward. Walking and now working with my pointer in communication of the perception about what my body energy is telling me- in my sensing I feel that I'm not worth it as I am with this perception grief fills every part of me releasing grief and allowing my body to be with my sensing as I keep moving and releasing fear of  bodys sense of self I can feel this release and am able to move forward feeling relieved.There is also a knowing and understanding that comes to me and as I relese fear the intesity releases also. Being held in the container of the starform I can sense the support in my feet acknowledging it and allowing the support I sense the surge of support move in my feet up my legs supporting my pelvis and back as I am being supported in this energetic starform it holds me as it supports me in awakening and supporting change. I sense the container and I feel cuddled, safe, and am at ease as I allow my body to communicate to the starform and the starform to communicate to my body.
I have support and am feeling very happy. Even through out the day I acknowledge the starform and again embrace the support knowing change is occurring.